The beginning of something different

Today has been a bad day. As good as yesterday was. As fulfilling and loving and wonderful and perfect as yesterday was. Today is the opposite. He wakes up early, while we try to drag out of bed, he doesn't want yogurt, he wants chicken. He doesn't want daddy to dress him, he wants mommy. Where's Olli? He naps shorts today. Has multiple accidents (accident free yesterday!) and seems determined to find every activity that he's not supposed to do. Mommy's doing homework, let's through the books across the room.

As I sit here in tears, I can't help feeling like a terrible parent. Today is better though, I haven't yelled or gotten angry, just felt frustrated and confused.

Life with a spirited child. I thought for sure there was something wrong with him. Ethan has always been a roller coaster of emotions. Cries loud with real tears, belly laughs, squeals in delight. He cannot be diverted from a task that he wants to do or convinced to do something he doesn't want to do. He remembers details of the world that I have no hope of remembering myself. (Saturday we went to the zoo and he remembered the hawk we had seen in the tree the last time we were at the zoo, he didn't know why the hawk wasn't there anymore)

He gives the biggest sweetest hugs to the people he knows, but doesn't like meeting new people. Trunk or treat was a nightmare. There are so many aspects of his life that I thought were "just being a toddler" that aren't. Yes, he has some typical toddler behavior, but there is a lot of things that aren't. He constantly moves, even in his sleep. Always has. Even as a baby he would cry for hours in his room if you let him. There was no "crying it out" for him. If he decided he wanted milk, he would cry until he got it.

I've started reading up about things to expect and things to do and it seems to help. I spotted that today was going to be a bad day this morning. I tried hard to make it not be, but Ethan didn't get the memo.

I would never try to explain away bad behavior (hitting is never ok), but I will explain to you why he reacts in such away (squeals over exciting things). I'm hoping to use this blog to write about the trials and triumphs we see over time. It's like meeting my child again for the first time. He's new and different and not just trying to annoy me or be stubborn.