My road to Ethan

Andrew and I tried for Ethan for two years. This included learning how to take my BBT (basal body temperature), learning more about PCOS (polycystic ovary syndrome), learning about cervical mucus, taking Metformin, taking Clomid, and finally dieting to lose some weight. This road was so long and so hard, especially after the PCOS diagnosis and failed fertility treatments. I endured comments like "Your baby will come when you are ready", "Enjoy your childfree life now", "You'll get pregnant when you deserve it", "Just relax, it'll happen when you do". So on and so forth.

One night in tears I explained to Andrew that I thought he was going to divorce me because I couldn't have a baby. He reassured me we would have a baby, whether we adopted or whatever. We looked into adoption and into things like IVF and realized that we would have to wait for quite some time before we could afford those types of things.

So, in September I made an appointment with my PCP (primary care physician) to go back on birth control. My doctor had to cancel due to a death in the family. I was so mad, I just wanted to be on birth control to control my emotions and know that I couldn't be pregnant. I rescheduled the appointment and talked about going to planned parenthood for the birth control.

One night, Andrew and I watched Baby Mama (btw not a very funny movie for me), and I bawled and bawled and Andrew held me and told me "Someday...". Now mind you, at this point we had decided to wait until after I finished seminary (I was starting in January) to start trying again to have a baby.

The next day I was SO thirsty, like, I drank 4 glasses of water before lunch. My co-worker (who was pregnant at the time) said, "I bet you're pregnant". I laughed at her, but decided to buy a pregnancy test (i should have bought stock in them, really). I came back to work with the test, went to the bathroom POAS (peed on a stick) and thought I saw two lines...At this point, I knew that I "saw" things when looking at pregnancy tests so I packed it in my pocket and went back to our (mine and my co-workers) office. She was on the phone and I asked "Is this what I think it is?" She was like "OMG, you are pregnant!"

I wanted to call my mom first, but knew I had to call Andrew. He was in shock and didn't/couldn't say much. Next, I called my mom and she was super excited, but trying not to be.

The next several weeks were filled with worry. I had some first trimester bleeding and was put on bed rest/pelvic rest. I was terrified that my little baby was going to be gone before I could enjoy it and I did whatever I could to help. As you probably have figured out, nothing bad happened and I have my wonderful little boy!

In my next blog, I'll tell more about my pregnancy and the road to and day of Ethan's birth.